Saban (Satan?) Deciphers SEC Code

"Greetings Allabammy and SEC Footbaw fans! Just wanted make sure we were clear on a few things. I don't have time for talking about sh*t like...certain teams from a certain league, and jobs that I said I wasn't interested in and certainly wasn't accepting, and definitely not universities I say I have absolutely not contacted.


I also definitely don't have time for sh*t like:

• Nosy boosters or Coaches that look like Giant Creamsicles -- fat Boy I am lookin' at you!
• Fancy pants things like: points and touchdowns
• Knuckledraggin, possessed, insane to the point of disbelief students, alumni, faculty and hangers-on with diabolically high expectations of a mediocre program that lost its national juice when GS left
• SEC Officials
• Reporters who ask questions at press conferences
• Snoopy folks over the NCAA -- snitches get...well you know
• Pansy assed, chicken sh*t, yellow, weak little Bloogers, bluggers, whatever the hell you are!

I will have time for this sh*t here

• Going 6-6, 6-7 in back to back years and taking a job for more money somewhere else
• Losing to Ole Miss or So. Miss every seaso
• Gettin' smoked, tarred and feathered, flambayed, rolled in Oleo and deep fried by LSU each season
  
• MILFs, Honeys, Coeds and Groupies by the pickup-truck-ful!



• $4 million per year biachtes YEAAH Alabama this!! CREAM yall
  

So just so we're clear...got it squids? Good! I'm Out Like Last Nite's Garbage!"

Most certainly, positively, not leaving Alabama in two seasons...yet