Suckiest Bunch of Sucks Whoever Sucked: And They Taste Like Chicken

Your Blog Sucks and Your Post Blows

2007-07-24T10:20:00.000-07:00

gettin banned by a blog...hilarious....this is what bloggers do with your free speech

In review, the lastest edition of the ongoing suckiness of sucktastism are as follows:

1) Blogs who ban people

2) Shifty hedge fund managers and Wall-Street who fuck with my bankroll

3) People who cause car accidents while "talking" on their cell phone

4) Dudes named Blair, Blake or Michael Moore

5) Roaches, desserts without Chocolate

Protect Ya Neck, It' Fightin Time

Saban (Satan?) Deciphers SEC Code

2007-05-04T09:50:00.000-07:00

"Greetings Allabammy and SEC Footbaw fans! Just wanted make sure we were clear on a few things. I don't have time for talking about sh*t like...certain teams from a certain league, and jobs that I said I wasn't interested in and certainly wasn't accepting, and definitely not universities I say I have absolutely not contacted.

I also definitely don't have time for sh*t like:

Nosy boosters or Coaches that look like Giant Creamsicles -- fat Boy I am lookin' at you!
Fancy pants things like: points and touchdowns
Knuckledraggin, possessed, insane to the point of disbelief students, alumni, faculty and hangers-on with diabolically high expectations of a mediocre program that lost its national juice when GS left
SEC Officials
Reporters who ask questions at press conferences
Snoopy folks over the NCAA -- snitches get...well you know
Pansy assed, chicken sh*t, yellow, weak little Bloogers, bluggers, whatever the hell you are!

I will have time for this sh*t here

Going 6-6, 6-7 in back to back years and taking a job for more money somewhere else
Losing to Ole Miss or So. Miss every seaso
Gettin' smoked, tarred and feathered, flambayed, rolled in Oleo and deep fried by LSU each season
MILFs, Honeys, Coeds and Groupies by the pickup-truck-ful!

$4 million per year biachtes YEAAH Alabama this!! CREAM yall

So just so we're clear...got it squids? Good! I'm Out Like Last Nite's Garbage!"

Most certainly, positively, not leaving Alabama in two seasons...yet

Poultry Gone Bad

2007-04-19T06:33:00.000-07:00

Greetings vanquished supplicants! Accede and assent to All-Powerful General Chow. Incapacitating submission is imminent. And why does everything taste like chicken? I dunno really...If we transported a chicken into space would aliens say it tasted like something there? Hmmmmmmm

Things that taste like chicken:

Dinosaurusii
Octopii
Rhinocerii
General Chow's calves
Miscalaneii
Thesaurii

When extra-terrestrials compare nutritional data do they say"tastes like people or taste like earthians?" These imponderables must be solved. The very providence of our universe hinges on solving these matters. Much like deciphering Bobby Bowden's home language. eg "bumfuzzlery, dadgummiffication, stupifilization, managemication, matriculgentified"

"I smell bumfuzzlery afoot..and horrendified , spudenticulated offensification"